Evil Wrapped in a Fangirl Disguise

Today was better. I worked at the library and that kicked me out of my own head for a while. So. That's something.

Plus, kids like me. And when kids like you, that must mean you have something to offer. Enjoyed bonding over books with them.

Was freaked out by a guy who came in asking about the regular librarian. Like, warning-bells-ringing freaked out. But I think I was being paranoid.

Now I'm going to go watch clips of Misha Collins.

Today's Writer's Block asks about recurring dreams. It's not exactly recurring, but for the last week or two I've been having dreams where I (or the character I'm playing) am driving around the country. They are clearly Supernatural influenced and so far have been like chapters in a book (or episodes of a show).

Speaking of, "Something Wicked." To quote my mother, "Someone needs to be held." Seriously. There needed to be a hug. They could have at least hugged the kid. He definitely needed one.

Tonight I have a fire district meeting to go attend. These are generally not too bad. Except for that one time when the meeting article was published without my name because I didn't want repercussions. Yikes.

Friday I'm at the Mattawa library. I must be Miss Popular this week or something.

Meanwhile, I'm seriously craving DiNozzo/McGee fic. Like, a lot.

And am generally kind of dissatisfied with, well, the world. Maybe I'll blame the weather.

Yesterday an older woman came into the library and made me want to cry for the state of humanity. Or, I guess, for ignorance. And maybe not cry, but bang my head against the desk.

This woman came in because she'd gotten a notice in the mail that we had a book on hold for her. She didn't remember ordering anything and she wanted to know what it was. The last time I saw her in the library, she ended up checking out a book by David Baldacci. She was looking for something new to read and she'd seen his name a lot so she thought she'd give it a try.

Apparently since then she's been in and the regular librarian has ordered her several other books by him. The book that came was one of those.

She also had two books to return, but had forgotten them at home. "They're by him, too," she told me. "But I didn't like them. They were murder mysteries. Too gory for me. I want home-spun type stories. I don't like best-seller books these days. They're all filled with language and filth and whathaveyou. You know. Homosexuals and lesbians. I don't know why they have to put that in there. But I guess that's what writers do."

I just...nodded and smiled, basically. It's my job to help the patron, not to censor or judge in anyway. (Plus, I don't like confrontation and I'm not going to change the mind of some little old lady in a five minute library visit.) But, ooooh, I wanted to say things. Or would have wanted to if I hadn't been a little in shock.

I wanted to say, that's the world, lady. It's filled with different types of people doing different types of things. Media is covered with representations of heterosexual love and those images are forced on gay people all of the time. So what if one or two homosexuals show up in your books? There or so many other things to focus on or think about.

It also reminded me of something Hugh Jackman said in Entertainment Weekly in response to talking about playing Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz and kissing a guy:

I don't waste time or energy with it. I think there's far too much importance placed on people's sexuality anyway. I love sex, it's great, but it's not the measure of love or a relationship. And whether you like girls or boys, whether you like the light on or off: Who cares? I always find sexuality one of the least interesting things about a person.

Anyway, now I also want to know what she meant by "that's what writers do." Market "filth"? Sensationalize? Try to make it on the best seller list by being shocking?

I was annoyed. It wasn't until after she pulled out of the parking lot that I realized, wait, I write gay porn. Little does she know who she's talking to.

As per olivelavonne's suggestion, next time I see her I am going to think "the dirtiest, filthiest porn at her."


Now to go work on school board and other bits of writing. Those prompts gave me multiple ideas and I hardly know what to do first.

Today's Unshelved strip.

Yup. That's pretty much how it is.


Also, my knees are killing me. :(

Dear Library Patrons,

I am not your babysitter.

Sincerely,
The Woman Behind the Desk Who Can KICK YOU OUT


My good mood owes a lot to the burrito/margarita/hanging out thing sdrohc_ratiug and I did afterward. Good way to end the day. ♥

I'm not that into horoscopes, but when I got home from the library I ended up on my Yahoo account and today's caught my eye.

If you've been feeling overwhelmed lately, it's probably because you are pushing yourself way too hard! Reset your agenda today, and make sure you are not spreading yourself too thin. If you're tired, take a nap. If you're sick of dealing with whiners, get some quiet alone time. Listen to your body and follow your mood, whatever hits you, whenever it hits you, today. Not every day has to be full of activities and accomplishments. It's a day you should spend focusing on your own needs.

It seemed semi-appropriate. Especially because lately I've been thinking about something a teacher of mine told senior year of high school when I had a break-down in front of her regarding my senior project. She was very understanding - and I think a lot of students would have been surprised by this - and asked me to really try to explain what was wrong. And then she told me to stop trying to do everything myself. "If you need help, ask for it."

It's not really that I don't ask for help, I just...don't always. I don't like to be a burden or disappoint people, and that leads me to sometimes biting off more than I can chew. But when I pull through in the end anyway, it looks like everything was fine. Which is why, I guess, professors never seemed to think I was nervous giving presentations. The woman who does my contact prescriptions told me last time when I told her about the newspaper writing that I project calm. Heh. Right.

Anyhoo. I am settling into things. This week has just been weird since I've been covering the library and covering meetings, though I didn't have to go to the fire district tonight. Yesterday got to me a little because I opened down in Mattawa and the librarian was supposed to be back by one so I could get to the Port meeting in Royal at four. But, because of prescription orders, she didn't get back until three. Which was fine, since I got into town with enough time to catch a bite of food with Mom before the meeting. I just spent some time freaking out about it and dealing with no phone reception and trying to set up interviews in Othello.

It was a little hectic. But over now! Yea! And tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere, I just have to write.

I hope everyone is safe and warm and dry. And that the last couple of days have been lovely, no matter what or when you happen to celebrate.

Christmas here was very nice. Very low-key.

I may be more thorough about it once I've got this newspaper feature finished.

Today was spent subbing at the library in Mattawa. I figured, hey, let the lady who has several kids and maybe holiday plans have a nice long vacation weekend. I don't mind filling in.

Some days I really do love working at the library. Even when it gets really busy. At least when it gets busy, that means I'm doing work instead of sitting there trying to fill up hours by shelf-reading again.

And it did get really busy for about an hour yesterday. There was an actually line of patrons involved. It was crazy.

But then it calmed down some and one of the kids from my day of PE subbing showed up. He actually sought me out to say, "Hey! You were my PE teacher!" which was fun. I remembered him, too. One of the fifth graders. When he checked out his books, he asked me when I'd be subbing at the school again. That made me happy, as that means that I made a good impression on the kids and they'd like me back. It really shouldn't be that surprising, I guess, since I get along with the kids when I'm at the library. And the twins and I are pretty close.

Speaking of the twins, I did spend the majority of yesterday morning texting Tris while actually doing library-related work. He makes me laugh. I miss them! :(

Mostly, I think part of what I makes working at that particular library is seeing all the same kids over and over. I know which ones are quiet and which ones are rowdy, which ones will check out DVDs and which ones will go for books. I like being able to make recommendations and find out what books they're really enjoying and which ones they aren't. It's fun.

Near the very end of the day, I helped some older kids type up some PSP cheats. They'd printed them out, but the print was too small so the girl (who I've helped before and is fun to talk to) asked if I'd help out. Since I'd shelved everything and was pretty much just wasting time until closing, I said sure. She was majorly impressed by my typing skills. I told her I'm so fast because I took Keyboarding in high school and have had loooots of practice.

It was a good day. Subbing there tomorrow, too, since the regular librarian is off celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary.

Randomly, a trailer is up for the new Disney-Pixar movie, Up.

Today was the Benefits & Wellness Fair for library employees in Wenatchee. There was a lot of stuff going on and lots of stuff to learn.

The morning consisted of a presentation for library assistants (subs are assistants now, apparently - new title!) titled "Personal Safety and Gang Awareness." It was put on by the Wenatchee Police Department. The officer there didn't really focus on personal safety much, instead giving us a lot of information about Wenatchee gangs.

It's scary. And we're such a dinky area, which is part of the problem. There less there is to do, the more people look to make their own excitement.

What I found most disturbing was the clip the officer show of an elementary school performing a drive-by shooting drill. What kind of world do we live in that we have to practice for that kind of event?

We were also shown a clip from a recording some gang members had made while performing a drive-by. And then realizing they'd done it right in front of a cop. The act itself wasn't frenzied at all. Everyone in the car was calm and methodical about the whole thing, which is horrifying.

When the officer told us that they tape some of their activities, all I could think was, "What, so they can put them on YouTube?"

After that was over, I went on a quick tour of the headquarters. It's a very neat building that used to be a Coca Cola bottling plant. The inside is now all art modern, which is sort of the less decorative cousin of art deco. It's kind of warehouse-y and neat. Plus, they have these compressed shelves that have handles on the end and open and close. If they were to open them, it would be about a mile of shelving.

Lunch was catered and delicious. And then I got free acupuncture! I've always been curious about acupuncture and so when I saw that they'd have someone set-up there to talk about it and demonstrate, I had to sign up. There was about nine people in my group and the acupuncturist walked around the room and did our ears. Three in my left ear, two in my right. She told us that we should leave the needles in until the fair was over if we wanted to get a better idea about the results. By the time I went back thirty minutes later, I'd lost all but one needle in my left ear. The rest just fell out. Apparently it's not even necessarily my fault. If the body decides that they're not needed, it'll push them out. One woman had just gotten one put in and then it, according to her, just "jumped out."

Besides the needles, the acupuncturist had tuning rods and did something with the acupuncture points in my shoulders. Very interesting. I'm definitely thinking about checking it out further.

Then I went to, "A Spoonful of Sugar: What Mary Poppins Didn't Tell You" and now I'm afraid to eat anything.

Also got my flu shot. Now my arm hurts.

"Library" is a really funny word if you think about it too hard.

One thing that I dislike is irresponsibility. When I make an appointment, I do my best to keep it. When I schedule work, I do my best to be there. And when I'm there, I do my best to complete the job at hand. Most of the time anyway; we all have our off days.

Today was hectic at the library. They've been working to upgrade the circulation system since last Thursday, meaning that nothing can be checked in (boxes of returned items piling up) and all check-out is done by hand (off-line circulation being unreliable, imo). I was asked to sub, which I didn't mind because I've dealt with the system being down before and, really, if I can deal with finals week in a university library I should be able to deal with books and DVDs piling up.

That wasn't so bad. (I was three sentences past the beginning of this paragraph before I realized I'd written "That was so bad" while thinking "wasn't." Heh.) Especially since Shannon told me to keep trying the circulation system until it let me in. When it popped up with a box asking me if I wanted to upgrade, I said, "Sure! Bring it on!" And all seemed to be well.

No, what really pissed me off, and I'm willing to admit I was probably overreacting, was when the other sub who was supposed to come work four hours with me called and said, "Shannon said she'd leave a note if she wanted me to come in. Did she leave a note?"

"Well, no. Not really. But she did say she had a project you could help with. They want to incorporate the non-cataloged paperback juvenile fiction with the cataloged hardcovers..."

"Oh, yeah, we've talked about that. But that's not really important."

That really annoyed me. Because, what? It needs to be done but you're feeling lazy so I'm going to be the one that does it?

She then asked if the computers were still down and I said it was kind of iffy at the moment, though they seemed to be fine. She said, "Well, I don't want to show up if there's nothing there for me to do."

So I told her, "If you have other things you have to do today, you go ahead and do them. I can take care of this on my own."

She said some more things after that, and I just repeated that a few times. At one point she kind of laughed after I said it. I think she caught my fed-up tone. You know the one. Everyone has one. The one where you're not openly angry, but it's clear that you think time's being wasted and so you're being sort of...professionally nice. If that makes sense.

I feel a little bad about it now. Mostly I feel bad that I feel like I should feel bad. How's that for convoluted?

She did tell me that I could call later in the afternoon if I needed help. I could have used helped later (I could have used help then), but there's too much going on to go looking for a phone number and I like working alone. Plus, this particular person has a really grating voice. And personality. The first time she called this morning, after I hung up all I could think was, "I'm going to have to listen to that for four hours." But then, of course, she didn't come in.

And then there was the part of me that didn't want to call because I wanted to prove I could handle the big scary day all by myself. So take THAT.

I did have a slight moment of panic, though. I called the tech people because transit slips weren't printing when I scanned material that was supposed to be sent elsewhere. When they called back and I said I was using the system, she said, "You're using it? Did we walk you through the upgrade already? If we didn't, then everything you're doing isn't being recorded." I was like, "It asked me to upgrade, I clicked 'okay.' I thought it was all right."

When I called her back after dealing with patrons, she apologized for panicking and said that I was fine. When I told Mom this, Mom asked, "So you did something that they didn't think you were capable of?"

Sure. What I'm thinking is that I'm one of the younger people working there, ready and unafraid to click the upgrade option when a computer presents it. Not that the older employees aren't, but they're the ones that are benefiting from the tech/web related information sessions while I'm sitting there semi-bored because I'm already familiar with it.

So that ended well. I didn't screw anything up. And by closing there were many things to shelve, but it was all generally tidy and not completely chaotic. Which is a win in my book. Even if I am generally frustrated by some of the people involved.

I am going to use my "people:idiots" tag and not feel like a horrible person.