A Few Ants Short of a Picnic

[annundriel]

Worked an hour and a half at the library today and got a bit annoyed at one person. My first day, this person came in and started talking to me and wanted to know if I was married or had kids (this has been happening a lot to me lately). No on both counts. Today she came in and said, "I hear you're in love."

I was busy helping another patron, but said, "Well, you heard wrong."

"You're not in love?"

"No."

"Really."

"Not in love."

"Are you saying someone's lying to me?"

"Yes. Because I'm not."

And then she left.

After work, though, I walked over to the store to say hi to Mom and found out that the very same person had been in talking to her. And she'd said something that just made Mom angry and ready to slap her. I guess she came in and said the usual "I just talked to your daughter, blah blah blah, nice girl, blah" followed by, "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Oh?" Mom said.

"On her engagement."

"What?"

At which point Mom disabused her of the idea.

But what the hell? Seriously. What. The. Hell. I knew this person was, well, someone whose cheese had slipped at least partway of her cracker, but geez. I hadn't really been exposed to it first-hand before.

Comments

[mandapanda0521.livejournal.com]

Wait. So had this woman talked to you before she talked to your mother. I guess it doesn't really matter because it is weird either way. Maybe she got you confused with someone else? Still you think she would have believed you when you said there was no one.

WEIRD.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

She probably talked to my mom about, oh, ten minutes after she talked to me.

No confusion. Because, really, while she was talking to me she just wouldn't listen. But she does have some personal issues, so I think she's just gone a little crazy.

It's just strange.

[michelerz.livejournal.com]

1. i've been getting that married and kids question thing lately as well. I'd like to think I don't look stable enough to be married or have any kids.

2. check please.

3. crazy people make the world go 'round. You wouldn't believe the crazies that come into my starbucks. there's an alcoholic african american woman who comes in once a week and she thinks my co-worker Raymond and I are married. She said our relationship gives her hope for the future... uhm... okay.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

re:1) Every time I'm asked, I think, "Really?" Because I just don't think of myself as being mature enough. And I can be pretty mature.

re:3) I hadn't really considered the type of people you must get in Starbucks. You could write a book, "Crazies in Need of Coffee." Or something.

[trademybike.livejournal.com]

Next she's gonna come in and congratulate you on the three beautiful grown boys you had, or something. People like her amuse me to no end. The assumers are the greatest.

I went to Walmart looking for a connector/electrical cleaner and I walked up and down every aisle in the car department. I finally asked a clerk if he had any or if it was somewhere else in the store and he said "Well, I know exactly what you're talking about and no one in the store has it. The only other option is WD40, but definitely don't get it unless your husband told you to get it. Did your husband tell you to get WD40?" To which I replied, "No he did not. Thanks." *cue high tailing out of there*

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

It's not even really assuming, she's just not all there. I mean, seriously. I can't quite express the level of her being off her rocker. I mean, I could probably, but it would involve explaining her history. And oh, it's a doozie.

Speaking of Walmart, we went to the one in Wenatchee last night and as soon as we got there, Tom said, "It's not a super store? Gay." Once he got out of the car I turned to Mom. "You know what I wanted to respond to that with? 'Yes, it does like having buttsex.'" And you probably didn't need to know that, but there you go.