A Few Ants Short of a Picnic

[annundriel]

Worked an hour and a half at the library today and got a bit annoyed at one person. My first day, this person came in and started talking to me and wanted to know if I was married or had kids (this has been happening a lot to me lately). No on both counts. Today she came in and said, "I hear you're in love."

I was busy helping another patron, but said, "Well, you heard wrong."

"You're not in love?"

"No."

"Really."

"Not in love."

"Are you saying someone's lying to me?"

"Yes. Because I'm not."

And then she left.

After work, though, I walked over to the store to say hi to Mom and found out that the very same person had been in talking to her. And she'd said something that just made Mom angry and ready to slap her. I guess she came in and said the usual "I just talked to your daughter, blah blah blah, nice girl, blah" followed by, "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Oh?" Mom said.

"On her engagement."

"What?"

At which point Mom disabused her of the idea.

But what the hell? Seriously. What. The. Hell. I knew this person was, well, someone whose cheese had slipped at least partway of her cracker, but geez. I hadn't really been exposed to it first-hand before.

Comments

[trademybike.livejournal.com]

Next she's gonna come in and congratulate you on the three beautiful grown boys you had, or something. People like her amuse me to no end. The assumers are the greatest.

I went to Walmart looking for a connector/electrical cleaner and I walked up and down every aisle in the car department. I finally asked a clerk if he had any or if it was somewhere else in the store and he said "Well, I know exactly what you're talking about and no one in the store has it. The only other option is WD40, but definitely don't get it unless your husband told you to get it. Did your husband tell you to get WD40?" To which I replied, "No he did not. Thanks." *cue high tailing out of there*

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

It's not even really assuming, she's just not all there. I mean, seriously. I can't quite express the level of her being off her rocker. I mean, I could probably, but it would involve explaining her history. And oh, it's a doozie.

Speaking of Walmart, we went to the one in Wenatchee last night and as soon as we got there, Tom said, "It's not a super store? Gay." Once he got out of the car I turned to Mom. "You know what I wanted to respond to that with? 'Yes, it does like having buttsex.'" And you probably didn't need to know that, but there you go.