"Everything looks perfect from far away"
Sep. 12th, 2004 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annundrielI was going through my writing folder this evening when I found this piece that I wrote, oh, I'd say about a year-and-a-half ago. I think I didn't post it then because it is kinda schmoopy, but every time I run across it in my files it makes me smile so I figured, "hey, what can it hurt?" And so, as you see, post!
Small Steps
He goes to the cafe every morning just to see her. He goes there just to be near her. He is not, he tells himself, a stalker. The idea is almost laughable if he ignores the pain it would cause him for her to even think that. No, he is not a stalker. He doesn't even really know her name. He could just look at her nametag, but he always sits at the same table and it is one she never serves. Besides, if she ever did serve him he'd likely forget to look at her nametag.
No, he doesn't want her to serve him. He would rather watch her surreptitiously over the lip of his coffee cup, the edge of his paper. He likes to watch her. He realizes this is a rather stalker-like thing to do. He doesn't care. Is it wrong to look at beauty in a dull world? He hardly thinks it is. If she ever noticed, he thinks, she'd probably understand. She seems to be that sort of person.
You can learn a lot about a person just by watching them, and he's been watching for awhile. He thinks she is lovely. Always calm, never harsh. She's the kind of person he imagines would forgive easily and love wholly. He wishes then that he were a braver man. That he could, as insignificant as it would be to all but him, one day come in and sit at one of her tables. Talk to her if only to order coffee. Finally have her attention focused on him and learn her name. But he can't, he won't. He is not a brave man, he never has been. He has always been shy when it comes to people and meeting them. He does alright when it's business related, but when it's personal he can't handle it. He would rather sit alone at his table than risk the humility of possible rejection and the inevitable shattering of the walls he has used to protect himself.
He will go to the cafe and he will watch.
*
He goes to the cafe one day, sits in his usual spot, and she is not there. He is puzzled, but goes back to his paper. He is so quick no one would notice any change, any disappointment unless they knew him well and were looking. No one there knows him, no one is looking.
"Good morning. What can I get you?"
He is about to order his usual (coffee, black) when he looks up. He can't speak. It is not his usual waitress, it is her. She is there right in front of him asking him what he wants and he can't find his voice.
"Sir?" she asks. She looks concerned. "Are you alright?"
His mouth is dry. He swallows. "Yes, yes I'm fine. Um, just coffee please. Black." She gives him a look before nodding and walking away. He stares at his paper, no longer seeing it. Shutting his eyes he takes a few deep breaths. He is such a fool.
A moment later he looks up. She is coming back, but instead of one cup she is carrying two and a muffin. She sets the coffee down and sits across from him. "It's time for my break," she explains. "I hope you don't mind if I join you?" He shook his head, earning himself a smile. "Good. I'm Anne, by the way." She points to her nametag.
Anne. So simple, so clean. So her. He takes a sip of his coffee and folds his paper. "Will."
She grins at him. "Will," she says. "I've always wondered what your name was. I like it. It suits you."
He watches her. She is happily picking apart her muffin as though they've always sat together. She's wondered about his name? She notices his look and swallows. "What?"
He might as well say what's on his mind. "You've wondered about my name?"
"I wonder a lot of things," she says. "Like your name and what you do. I don't need to wonder if you're married, I can see now you don't wear a ring." She becomes ever so slightly flushed at this point. He is enchanted. She won't look at him now. "Which makes me wonder if there's someone else." She does look up at him here.
He looks at her for a moment, not because he doesn't have an answer, but because he can't believe she's asking the question. He's having trouble believing the situation. "No," he says finally shaking his head. "There's no one." For a split second he thinks he sees relief in her eyes. It makes his heart leap. He smiles at her. It is slight, but it reaches his eyes. She gives in and grins back.
She clears her throat, trying to hide another grin. "You see I wonder these things. You come in here everyday and I see you and I wonder."
Sometime in your life you've got to take a leap, he thinks. So he does. "Maybe now you don't need to wonder anymore."
She blushes and plays with what is left of her muffin. She is about to say something when her boss interrupts. Her break is over. She looks at him, her smile apologetic, and clears her empty mug away. A moment later she is back refilling his. "I'd like to talk with you more," she says. "I'd like to stop having to wonder." She leaves then. There are new customers to attend.
He sits at his table for a minute, barely moving. He can't believe it. Yesterday he was watching and wondering, afraid of ever learning something as simple as a name. And today? Today he is the one being watched and wondered about. He is the name. And she was brave enough to learn it.
He stands, taking his paper with him (leaving a generous tip) and goes to leave. She is taking orders and as he walks past she turns to him. "See you tomorrow?" she says. She seems afraid that intensions weren't clear.
He smiles at her, a full smile. "Yes," he says. "Of course I'll be here tomorrow." She smiles back and turns to her customers.
He is still smiling as he leaves. Small steps today, he thinks, big steps tomorrow.
*
Also, I've been listening to the soundtrack to Garden State almost all day. Love the whole thing.
Small Steps
He goes to the cafe every morning just to see her. He goes there just to be near her. He is not, he tells himself, a stalker. The idea is almost laughable if he ignores the pain it would cause him for her to even think that. No, he is not a stalker. He doesn't even really know her name. He could just look at her nametag, but he always sits at the same table and it is one she never serves. Besides, if she ever did serve him he'd likely forget to look at her nametag.
No, he doesn't want her to serve him. He would rather watch her surreptitiously over the lip of his coffee cup, the edge of his paper. He likes to watch her. He realizes this is a rather stalker-like thing to do. He doesn't care. Is it wrong to look at beauty in a dull world? He hardly thinks it is. If she ever noticed, he thinks, she'd probably understand. She seems to be that sort of person.
You can learn a lot about a person just by watching them, and he's been watching for awhile. He thinks she is lovely. Always calm, never harsh. She's the kind of person he imagines would forgive easily and love wholly. He wishes then that he were a braver man. That he could, as insignificant as it would be to all but him, one day come in and sit at one of her tables. Talk to her if only to order coffee. Finally have her attention focused on him and learn her name. But he can't, he won't. He is not a brave man, he never has been. He has always been shy when it comes to people and meeting them. He does alright when it's business related, but when it's personal he can't handle it. He would rather sit alone at his table than risk the humility of possible rejection and the inevitable shattering of the walls he has used to protect himself.
He will go to the cafe and he will watch.
*
He goes to the cafe one day, sits in his usual spot, and she is not there. He is puzzled, but goes back to his paper. He is so quick no one would notice any change, any disappointment unless they knew him well and were looking. No one there knows him, no one is looking.
"Good morning. What can I get you?"
He is about to order his usual (coffee, black) when he looks up. He can't speak. It is not his usual waitress, it is her. She is there right in front of him asking him what he wants and he can't find his voice.
"Sir?" she asks. She looks concerned. "Are you alright?"
His mouth is dry. He swallows. "Yes, yes I'm fine. Um, just coffee please. Black." She gives him a look before nodding and walking away. He stares at his paper, no longer seeing it. Shutting his eyes he takes a few deep breaths. He is such a fool.
A moment later he looks up. She is coming back, but instead of one cup she is carrying two and a muffin. She sets the coffee down and sits across from him. "It's time for my break," she explains. "I hope you don't mind if I join you?" He shook his head, earning himself a smile. "Good. I'm Anne, by the way." She points to her nametag.
Anne. So simple, so clean. So her. He takes a sip of his coffee and folds his paper. "Will."
She grins at him. "Will," she says. "I've always wondered what your name was. I like it. It suits you."
He watches her. She is happily picking apart her muffin as though they've always sat together. She's wondered about his name? She notices his look and swallows. "What?"
He might as well say what's on his mind. "You've wondered about my name?"
"I wonder a lot of things," she says. "Like your name and what you do. I don't need to wonder if you're married, I can see now you don't wear a ring." She becomes ever so slightly flushed at this point. He is enchanted. She won't look at him now. "Which makes me wonder if there's someone else." She does look up at him here.
He looks at her for a moment, not because he doesn't have an answer, but because he can't believe she's asking the question. He's having trouble believing the situation. "No," he says finally shaking his head. "There's no one." For a split second he thinks he sees relief in her eyes. It makes his heart leap. He smiles at her. It is slight, but it reaches his eyes. She gives in and grins back.
She clears her throat, trying to hide another grin. "You see I wonder these things. You come in here everyday and I see you and I wonder."
Sometime in your life you've got to take a leap, he thinks. So he does. "Maybe now you don't need to wonder anymore."
She blushes and plays with what is left of her muffin. She is about to say something when her boss interrupts. Her break is over. She looks at him, her smile apologetic, and clears her empty mug away. A moment later she is back refilling his. "I'd like to talk with you more," she says. "I'd like to stop having to wonder." She leaves then. There are new customers to attend.
He sits at his table for a minute, barely moving. He can't believe it. Yesterday he was watching and wondering, afraid of ever learning something as simple as a name. And today? Today he is the one being watched and wondered about. He is the name. And she was brave enough to learn it.
He stands, taking his paper with him (leaving a generous tip) and goes to leave. She is taking orders and as he walks past she turns to him. "See you tomorrow?" she says. She seems afraid that intensions weren't clear.
He smiles at her, a full smile. "Yes," he says. "Of course I'll be here tomorrow." She smiles back and turns to her customers.
He is still smiling as he leaves. Small steps today, he thinks, big steps tomorrow.
*
Also, I've been listening to the soundtrack to Garden State almost all day. Love the whole thing.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-15 04:11 am (UTC)I really like this piece. It's really not even schmoopy. It's "cute" for lack of a better word. It's kinda like in the Firefly episode Ariel, when Simon gets Mal, Jayne and Zoe prepared to answer a barrage of questions that's gonna fly at them when they hit the doors of the hospital and when they finally get there, the lady tells em where to go and that's that... Your character Will seems to have that mindset. He's got ideas of how he wants to talk to her and all the ideas go down the toilet when she sits and starts the conversation. I really liked that. I've seen it once or twice in other movies and it's a neat idea to add to a story.
I can't think of anything that would make it better. It's simple and subtle and that's what makes it so neat.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-15 08:58 pm (UTC)Y'know, you started with the comparison to "Ariel" and I'm going, "But they're not robbing a hospital...?" And then I understood, because you explained it! (See how that works?) So, yes, I completely see what you're saying. Will was in that mindset that everything is much more difficult than it really is. Which is a mindset I often find myself in. The reason I wrote it, if I remember right, was because the first line popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. And I had such a clear picture of Will after that, so I just had to let him take me where he would.
Sometime during spring quarter I wrote a companion to this from Anne's POV. I don't like it quite as much as this, but it was for a friend and it was interesting to try and do.
Thanks for the comment!