I never commented, and I meant to right after I read it - but I got caught up in thoughts of Orlando and the Orca Lord mwahahahaha
I really like this piece. It's really not even schmoopy. It's "cute" for lack of a better word. It's kinda like in the Firefly episode Ariel, when Simon gets Mal, Jayne and Zoe prepared to answer a barrage of questions that's gonna fly at them when they hit the doors of the hospital and when they finally get there, the lady tells em where to go and that's that... Your character Will seems to have that mindset. He's got ideas of how he wants to talk to her and all the ideas go down the toilet when she sits and starts the conversation. I really liked that. I've seen it once or twice in other movies and it's a neat idea to add to a story.
I can't think of anything that would make it better. It's simple and subtle and that's what makes it so neat.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-09-15 04:11 am (UTC)I really like this piece. It's really not even schmoopy. It's "cute" for lack of a better word. It's kinda like in the Firefly episode Ariel, when Simon gets Mal, Jayne and Zoe prepared to answer a barrage of questions that's gonna fly at them when they hit the doors of the hospital and when they finally get there, the lady tells em where to go and that's that... Your character Will seems to have that mindset. He's got ideas of how he wants to talk to her and all the ideas go down the toilet when she sits and starts the conversation. I really liked that. I've seen it once or twice in other movies and it's a neat idea to add to a story.
I can't think of anything that would make it better. It's simple and subtle and that's what makes it so neat.