annundriel: (Lament (ff))
[personal profile] annundriel
I basically spent today doing nothing but watching CSI. And part of the whole thing, besides the new insane obsession with the show, was that I wanted to catch Liev Schreiber's episodes.

Well, I caught them. And they broke me.

Half-way through the first one, "Sweet Jane," I came up to the kitchen and asked Mom, "Keppler's not going to turn out to be a bad guy, is he?" followed by, "He's not going to turn out to be a jerk, right?" To which she would only say, "He's got an agenda." And I was like, well, yeah. Everyone's got an agenda. And while he killed an innocent man and tampered with evidence, he did turn it around in the end. His bad actions weren't for the sake of self-improvement of some sort (wealth, power, etc.). And I can't hate that.

What I hope is that he left something behind that explained his behavior. It would be nice if the team wasn't just left wondering what had happened.

Mid-way through "Law of Gravity," I knew things weren't going to end well. I was thinking suicide and hoping it wouldn't be. So the shooting at the end was both a relief and a disappointment. Relief because he was trying to right his wrongs and got shot in the process of protecting Suzie; disappointment because now he's dead. This isn't Stargate and there won't be an alternate universe where he's alive.

It really just broke my heart. Because I liked Keppler. A lot. He was quiet and intelligent and a bit odd and he really did fit in fairly well with the rest of them. They liked him. Catherine really liked him. Her breaking in the end hit me hard. And the scene prior to that in the locker room? Offering to talk Ecklie into keeping him on the night shift? Oh man.

When it was over, I went down to the living room with my emotions mostly under control, but as soon as I saw Mom I went, "That was depressing" and broke down. She said that she knew it was coming, since she'd seen them before, but didn't want to tell me. So we talked about it some.

I can't believe he was only in four episodes and I feel this upset about it. A lot of that probably has to do with watching them back-to-back instead of spread out over a month.

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annundriel

February 2013

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