SPN Fic: Realization, Dean/Castiel (PG-13)

[annundriel]

Realization
Dean/Castiel-ish
PG-13
436
Coda to 6.15.
Dean's eyes are opened.

Thanks to cautionzombies and qthelights for helping me iron out the wrinkles. <3


Dean’s heart hammers in his chest. It thuds and races and has nothing to do with Raphael or Balthazar standing across from them on the asphalt, nothing to do with the shattered glass and Virgil back in bizarro world. Instead, it has everything to do with Cas, the sound of his wings, the span of his wings. The way his voice carries through the air like thunder, the power of Heaven behind it.

Fuck, Dean missed him. He hadn’t let himself think about it, had tried to focus only on how it wouldn’t be so bad if they got stuck because at least Sam would have a decent life, a good life. At least they’d both have money. But the thought that there, in that place, angels didn’t exist? That had…that had thrown him more than he wanted to admit. Dean’s still not sure he believes in God, but somehow—even with everything—he believes in Cas.

He always has.

It’s funny, but he’s not sure he would have realized it if he hadn’t watched someone else pretend to be Cas. That Misha guy was good, but he wasn’t…quite right. The timbre of his voice was off, the tilt of his head. The way he looked at Dean. All of it was there, and then all of it was just a smidgen off-center, a baby-step to the left.

Dean had ached, and pretended it was indigestion. What was with all the candy on set anyway?

But now. Now.

Castiel stands before them, might and right on his side. He tosses off a line worthy of a Clint Eastwood movie and makes Raphael flee. Shares a moment with Balthazar, filled with layers Dean can’t even begin to comprehend.

“Well, Cas, now you have your sword, try not to die by it.”

Dean frowns and watches Balthazar disappear. Doesn’t want to think about the fact that Cas has died twice already, both times messy and painful. Dean had dreamt about it for months, closed his eyes and seen his world fall apart—Sam, Cas, Bobby; Sam again as he took that dive—over and over again. He doesn’t want to do that again. He refuses to do that again.

Trench coat spinning out behind him, Cas turns toward them, closes the distance in quick strides. For a moment Dean thinks he’s going to be hugged, that they’re going to be hugged. That Cas missed them as much as they missed him. As much as Dean missed him.

Cas closes the distance between them, broken glass crunching under his feet, and Dean braces himself.

His heart doesn’t stop hammering.

Comments

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I really thought a hug was going to happen, too! Finally. Sigh.

I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you. :)

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

I just love the atmosphere here. So strong, so powerful!

Castiel is a force to behold!

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[stageira.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched the ep yet, but am already counting this as canon! *sigh*

Lovely, just lovely :)

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm quite happy believing this went through Dean's head. ;)

Thank you!

[adja999.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. Poor Dean. What a disappointment. Seriously, the only ones who have worst timing are Castle and Beckett (if you know who they are).

But hey. Question. Am I the only freaking one who saw... who I saw? Playing 'I'm right out of The Matrix'? No? Noone else?

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Castle and Beckett do have terrible timing. (I only know them a little.)

Am I the only freaking one who saw... who I saw? Playing 'I'm right out of The Matrix'? No? Noone else?

Um. I know who the Matrix move was supposed to be referencing? But that's it.

[adja999.livejournal.com]

... yeah. I heard about that. God, I was so hoping this would mean Gabriel was back. I mean, it could be an awesome surprise. It'd make sense he hadn't come back if he were trapped there. Could have jumped the opportunity (it's not like a lot of people hitched a ride already).
I don't care. I'm still hoping. *goes sulk in a corner*

[trobadora]

OOoooh. *loves*

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you! :)

[perfumaniac.livejournal.com]

Once I saw you posted this fic, I had to get up EXTRA early to watch the episode so I could read this fic!

OMG THIS WAS SO CUTE BB! Oh Dean you and your awful repressive ways :P

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Aw, bb, EXTRA early? I hope you enjoyed it!

THANK YOU! <3 Dean needs to learn to talk things out. They all do.

[mclachlan.livejournal.com]

Unf, yes.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. ;D

[krystalicekitsu.livejournal.com]

*STILL HASN'T SEEN THE EPISODE BUT-* OMG. *PETS YOU*

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

*hugs* <3

[writingpathways.livejournal.com]

Perfect. Pretty much how I read that moment too, I just wish they'd had more. Sigh. Write more :-)

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I wish they'd had more, too. There just seemed to be so much happening wordlessly between everyone.

I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you! :)

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

I was so hoping that you would write something for this episode and here you are, making my little fangirl heart beat with happiness! While I laughed myself silly at all the funny parts, and shrieked at another, it was the end that really hit home for me and just how damn much I miss Cas, not just Cas but Castiel, Angel of the Lord. I think what you did with this was capture the anticipation that we all felt, through Dean's eyes, as Cas came forward to meet them. Wondering if there would be reunification or something else. I would have settled for hugs and kisses. *g* Beautiful job.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I miss Castiel, too. Sigh.

Hugs would have been nice, wouldn't they? For a moment there, I almost thought we'd get one or two.

I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you!

[uwalumni2.livejournal.com]

There is a part of me that just wishes Cas would just tell Dean what is going on and let him in! I so wish they would just hug at that scene, you know?! In my fantasy world....sigh...loved Cas's powerful wings!!!! The other Cas I LOVE is the advertisement one where Cas is wearing all black walking and you can see the shadows of his wings...one bad ass!!! :D

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Hee! I do love badass Cas...

I'm happy you enjoyed it. And, yes, if they'd only talk to each other things would run a little more smoothly.

[harper47.livejournal.com]

Awww, damn it Cas why didn't you hug them? Course probably because no one ever hugs him.

This was gorgeous. Thanks for fixing the things the writers never do. And I'm absolutely sure this was totally happening. I'm combining this with Tiptoe's fic where Cas went back and brought AltMisha to life as what happened behind the scenes and totally canon.

Thanks for writing this.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I really, really thought a hug would happen. They're horrible for blocking it that way.

Thank you so much! Yes, I am totally pretending this happened and that AltMisha is alive and kicking. ::nods:: That's just how things are.

[luciel89.livejournal.com]

I loved this. So wished they'd finally hug in canon...

And I like to think that this was what was going through Dean's mind at that time. Awesome, good job :)

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Maybe before the season's over? ::crosses fingers::

Thank you! :)

[zatnikatel.livejournal.com]

UNF at the way he strode towards them in the episode.Fans self at the pent-up UST in this and at the thought of all the layers we saw in that moment at the end where Dean looks at Cas and Cas looks at Dean...

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

He did stride, didn't he? With purpose. Mmmmmm.

There was so much looking going on between them. You really have to wonder what's behind it.

[io87.livejournal.com]

Dean's eyes were telling this, I saw it! :DDD Don't care they don't do this in canon, we'll always have you~~

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you! :D

[mesophile.livejournal.com]

This was exactly what was going on in Dean's head. Personal canon for me now. :) Perhaps it's a good thing there wasn't any D/C hug - all our TV sets/monitors would immediately self-combust!
Then the way Cas looked at Dean and only him when Dean challenged him in the episode - UNF!

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I'll happily pretend this was what Dean was thinking. :) Mmm, yes, there were some good looks, even if they were brief.

I'm happy you enjoyed it!

[d767468.livejournal.com]

I was wondering about that crazy look that Dean was giving Cas when he appeared and showed his wings. It seemed out of character for the tv show and more in line with fanfic!! Your story fit his look just perfectly.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure it was out of character with the show, they just haven't done it in a very long time. But yes, it was quite fic like, wasn't it? :)

I'm so happy this worked for you, thank you!

[dreaminganita.livejournal.com]

WONDERFUL. I swear to god I saw all this in Dean's stare when Cas showed his wings.
Besides, I can totally relate. I miss Cas so much!! I need a little more Cas in my SPN, damn it!

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

We need more Cas, Dean needs more Cas...We can all relate. :)

So happy you enjoyed it. Thank you!

[thinlizzy2.livejournal.com]

Man, this ROCKS!

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

:D I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

[pyjamagurl.livejournal.com]

Ohhh this is perfect! I love it :D

Totally personal canon now! A Dean/Cas hug is way, way overdue!

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

A Dean/Cas hug is way, way overdue!

It really is! It needs to just happen already.

I'm so happy you liked it. Thank you!

[invisiblelove.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, beautiful coda! That's damn right you appreciate your angel, Dean ;)

[adja999.livejournal.com]

I see your airquotes icon and I raise you one. :p

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! They both need to appreciate each other a little more, I think. ;)

[misslola89.livejournal.com]

Absolutely perfect coda for the ep, practically canon :)

And I totally thought there was going to be a hug too. One day... (I still have hope!)

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I'm still got my fingers crossed for that hug.