Crushed

[annundriel]

Today I succeeded in not doing any laundry at all and Mom came home to cold, dry clothes and cold, wet clothes. I stood in the doorway to the back room talking to her and said, "Are you not looking at me because you know I'll see the disappointment in your face and it'll break my little heart?" At which point she said she thought it was a big heart and then hugged me.

MOM: What's that crunching sound?
ME: That's my heart being crushed like a body in a trash compactor on CSI.
MOM: You mean like a two-bit bimbo whore?
ME: Yes, exactly like a two-bit bimbo whore.