SGA Fic - Seen Through

[annundriel]

Thanks to trademybike for reading through this and giving me a hand.

John/Rodney. Mentions some of the events of "Miller's Crossing" very briefly. A slight change in focus occurs.

Seen Through

John used to notice that Rodney would watch him sometimes. Usually after John had done something that had surprised him, like some quick math in his head or spouting a random fact about a show Rodney didn’t know they both loved. John prided himself on his ability to catch Rodney off-guard, a man who was usually only surprised at the depths of stupidity people could reach.

But now, now when Rodney looks at him there’s a new level of contemplation mixed in his sharp gaze. Like John’s an equation he’s been working on for months, years, and is finally on the verge of solving. Ever since the kidnapping and the subsequent events, there’s been this new focus. One that John’s not sure he’s entirely comfortable with. There are certain aspects about himself that he tries not to examine too closely. He wishes Rodney wouldn’t either. He’s not entirely sure what either of them would find or if Rodney would stick around after uncovering certain feelings John’s worked to keep buried.

But he occasionally forgets that Rodney is full of his own surprises. His stubbornness is laced with courage, his pessimism with a will to survive. And John forgets that Rodney can read people, he just usually doesn’t bother to because it’s a waste of his time.

At some point, though, he apparently decided that John was worth the effort.

So when Rodney lets himself into his quarters after a week of this new level of scrutiny, John really shouldn’t be surprised. But he is. Because there’s Rodney, taking the first steps toward this brave, new thing between them when all John can do is fight the urge to run. As much as he wants Rodney, wants this, it terrifies him, makes his palms sweat and his heart race. This much wanting, this much needing could tear everything apart.

Luckily for him, Rodney’s got him figured out. He can’t run because this thing between them will always be there. They will always come back to this. He almost can’t live with it sometimes, but he certainly couldn’t live without it.

So when Rodney enters his quarters, he doesn’t object. When Rodney lays out his observations, he doesn’t deny. And when Rodney places his hands against his skin, John finally, finally gives in. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for him.

Comments

[olivelavonne.livejournal.com]

OMG! How did I miss this posting? It's so very, very good. I really like your John and how he sees Rodney. Sorry I didn't respond sooner, I really really like this.

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Distracted by the other fic, I suppose. :)

Thanks!