Beware the Man Who is Too Close to His Emu

[annundriel]

On the way to Ephrata today, Mom and I got caught behind a small white car going a bit under the speed limit and swerving all over. When we first started following him, he had his arm stuck out the window. Before we got too close, Mom asked, "Is that an ostrich? That's a very large fist he has." After awhile, he pulled his arm back in. But first we determined that no, it wasn't an ostrich, it was an emu. And that this emu was the cause for all of the swerving. A reasonable assumption. After all, it must be distracting to have an emu in your small white car.

After we passed the freeway, he got behind a small blue car, also swerving. The slowly swerved their way to the highway, at which point they stopped at the stop sign (like you do). Blue car crossed the intersection, white car followed. Without stopping.

MOM: Nice STOP. Bastards.
ME: Fuckers. ::takes sip of soda::
MOM: Emu fuckers.
ME: ::dies::

We laughed so hard we cried. Then everyone behind us on the highway wondered why we were swerving all over the place.

I blame the emus.

Comments

[ginnith.livejournal.com]

Mary, you're not allowed to make me laugh while I'm at work. Giggling behind the counter isn't very professional. Shame on you for making me unprofessional. *even though I know you really have nothing to do with the fact that I'm reading in the first place*

*much love*

PS Tomorrow's my day off, so maybe I'll get to actually talk to you!

*Much more love*

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Neesha, you're not allowed to witness me being HIlarious while you're at work. It's simply unprofessional of you to be affected by my silliness, and the silliness of my mother. Honestly, I'm disappointed in you. ;P

*much love back*

And you don't even want to know - although I'm going to tell you anyway - the subsequent discussion, after we had collected ourselves, in which we determined that it was, in fact, an emu and not an ostrich as originally supposed.

1) It was too brown to be an ostrich.
2) Emu's are smaller and, my words, thus more "user friendly." If you get my meaning. ::nudgenudgewinkwink::

And with that bit of EW, I'm going.

Although - Yea! Tomorrow you have the day off! We *must* talk. I need someone online to chat with or else I am just pathetic. Also, maybe you can prod me into writing something.

[marquiscthulhu.livejournal.com]

Coincidentally Ephrata is completely full of emu fuckers. But primarily the average citiczen is a pig fucker.

Toodles

[annundriel.livejournal.com]

Ephrata: Where the men are men, the women are women, and the pigs are nervous.

Oh god, now scenes from Deliverance are running through my head. Thanks a lot.