Gender Roles
Nov. 1st, 2008 10:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annundrielToday I went to the first birthday party for the daughter of a single mom friend of mine. I had a nice time, though I left with an icky headache.
There was a specific moment during the afternoon that made me sit up and go, "Huh?"
When we got to the first present that required some assembly, the first thing I heard when they discovered a package of screws was, "I wish they made these things for single moms to do."
Now, she may have said "single people," which I would have less of a problem with. But I'm pretty sure it was "moms."
Which I do have a problem with, if she means it in the way I think she does. That is to say that putting together toys is not something that moms do, but a job instead meant for dads. This interpretation is supported by the fact that as soon as her dad showed up, she asked him to put it together for them.
And, I mean, that's something I might do, too. But out of sheer laziness on my part. But I like putting things together.
Anyway, I'm bothered by the continued support of certain things being "girl things" and others being "boy things." I'd like to put that into slightly more intelligent sounding terms, but that's what it boils down to. Masculine and feminine roles and who performs what and gender as performance.
All of this lead to a brief but interesting discussion of nature versus nurture with my mom. When I related this to her, she wanted to know if my friend thinks before she says things or if she's just hardwired that way. I think it's what she's been taught, and personally that things are only girly if girls do them. In which case, anything a girl does is girly because she is a girl.
"But," Mom asked, "what makes someone a girl? Genitalia?"
Or is it how the person acts, what they do, how they feel? Is it physical or mental?
And that is, in part, exactly what we discussed for a whole quarter in Gender & Social Reality.
When all is said and done, what my friend said this afternoon shouldn't really surprise me. This is the same person who told me a couple of years ago that she could never vote for a female president because "women are too emotional."
There was a specific moment during the afternoon that made me sit up and go, "Huh?"
When we got to the first present that required some assembly, the first thing I heard when they discovered a package of screws was, "I wish they made these things for single moms to do."
Now, she may have said "single people," which I would have less of a problem with. But I'm pretty sure it was "moms."
Which I do have a problem with, if she means it in the way I think she does. That is to say that putting together toys is not something that moms do, but a job instead meant for dads. This interpretation is supported by the fact that as soon as her dad showed up, she asked him to put it together for them.
And, I mean, that's something I might do, too. But out of sheer laziness on my part. But I like putting things together.
Anyway, I'm bothered by the continued support of certain things being "girl things" and others being "boy things." I'd like to put that into slightly more intelligent sounding terms, but that's what it boils down to. Masculine and feminine roles and who performs what and gender as performance.
All of this lead to a brief but interesting discussion of nature versus nurture with my mom. When I related this to her, she wanted to know if my friend thinks before she says things or if she's just hardwired that way. I think it's what she's been taught, and personally that things are only girly if girls do them. In which case, anything a girl does is girly because she is a girl.
"But," Mom asked, "what makes someone a girl? Genitalia?"
Or is it how the person acts, what they do, how they feel? Is it physical or mental?
And that is, in part, exactly what we discussed for a whole quarter in Gender & Social Reality.
When all is said and done, what my friend said this afternoon shouldn't really surprise me. This is the same person who told me a couple of years ago that she could never vote for a female president because "women are too emotional."
